Thanks to the BBC’s cultural strand I think I’ve just found my ideal man. I’m suspicious, though, that he was concocted in a lab, so just so is he.
He’s Jake Thackray and floats so many of my boats I am truly ashamed that the BBC had to point him out to me at this late stage. A chansonnier with a Yorkshire brogue, a vaudevillian with a polo neck, Jake does saucy Northern grotesques every night at the Gaiety Theatre where Benny Hill and Georges Bataille meet.
Here’s him doing Georges Brassens’ Brother Gorilla.
Jennifer Hodgson 
Are you ready for my parody of this, in which Jake Thackray becomes Duffy?Also, Thackray didn’t do enough – or any – songs about people getting locked into a cupboard and pissing on their shoes (in an arousing manner) to bear comparison to M. Bataille.Actually, I thought the picture was Sean Connery at first.
Abby thinks Duffy wears too much makeup. So there.
Haha! Of course he ticks all your boxes Jenny! I’m surprised you hadn’t encountered him previously… you’ve probably just encountered the same BBC documentary that i saw a couple of years ago.Needless to day, I think Jarvis is a fan.